welll... I guess 8 more weeks...

I felt like a 4 year old when I got off the phone yesterday with the FBI.  Completely deflated and a little bit of a whiner for the rest of the day because I was pouting.  And then I remembered when talking to my husband last night that we have been waiting 7.5 years to get where we are now.  8 weeks is not going to kill us. At least that's what I keep telling myself.  And I know it's true, it's just that initial disappointment. Ya know?

And I am INCREDIBLY thankful for my adoption network of Sisters who have been where I am. EXACTLY where I am. You always feel alone with this, and sometimes you need someone to cry with who isn't your spouse.  Because honestly, if you've been down the road of infertility and/or adoption. You do a lot of that.  You cry because it's frustrating, it's hard, it's a whole new kind of hurt and though you and your spouse go through it together, sometimes you just need to know y'all are not the only ones. 

God gave us a network of brethren to rely on, to lean on, and we often forget to thank God for that... but honestly, we have Him to thank for everything.  In HIS time, not ours. 

And it isn't like there isn't stuff to do. I need to finish up our profile after I get a couple more letters back from people, Thanksgiving is in a couple weeks, and then we need to figure out what we are going to do for December.  Since we cannot technically be on a waiting list until our home study is LEGALLY approved, I guess it makes it a tad easier on our peace of mind so I don't have to keep my ringer on my phone all the time and worry about being in the bottom of a hollow or in New Mexico and get a call from Florida and have to leave that instant. 

I have been reading a book called "Baby We Were Made for Each Other: In Praise of Adoption"  by Scott Simon.  It's mostly about international and foster to adopt, but so many of the things he said about the process of getting to the point where you can bring a child home are SO true.  I will leave you with a paragraph from the book:

"No single hoop that we were asked to jump through was onerous or ludicrous. Criminals should not adopt children.  Neither should drug addicts, excessive drinkers, abusive spouses, louses, or tax cheats.  But the overall effect of all the questions and tests can be opressive, especially as months roll on without word of a child.  Most of the documentation that you have to complete expires after twelve months, for reasons I respect ( over the course of a year you can get sick, go broke, or get arrested). So when the wait that you were told might be six to nine months goes past twelve, you have to complete new forms (and pay new fees) all over again.  Grrr, grrrr, grrrrrr.  It's not the cost (though that pinches), or the time (though that grinds).  After a while, it's the sheer galling indignity of being asked to prove, pay, and prove all over again that you're a worthy parent.  Any true parent will tell you that that is impossible to prove in advance."

Remember where your Citizenship is :)

Strange world we live in...

There was a time in my life, not that long ago actually, that things angered me to the point that I just HAD to say something. 
But in the last couple of years, I've learned to pick my battles, knowing that anger only begets more anger.  Today I observed two groups of prideful, unforgiving, people argue. One set of people started attempting to hit the other while the store employees were holding them back.  I stood back with my finger on the speed dial 911 whenever it started to break up. Because I knew if I got into it, it would only make matters worse.  All of it because one group of people decided to call the other group of people one profane racist word.

How does this relate to our adoption?
We have no race preference, no gender preference.

Days like today I remember that I do, indeed, live in the south.  And whereas our immediate families and our family at the congregation we attend will have no problem with it,  other people will. There are still KKK rallies in this town.  And it caused me to reflect and really ask myself some serious questions. 

All of the answers I came up with kind of all narrowed down to one answer. 

Thank God every day that He does not look at what we look like on the outside. Thank God we are made in His image and we are all to work according to His purpose. Thank God He came up with adoption or we would all be in trouble. 

If we are blessed with a child whos skin color is different than ours, we will stand out. But how is that different than what we are called to do anyway? Be set apart.