welll... I guess 8 more weeks...

I felt like a 4 year old when I got off the phone yesterday with the FBI.  Completely deflated and a little bit of a whiner for the rest of the day because I was pouting.  And then I remembered when talking to my husband last night that we have been waiting 7.5 years to get where we are now.  8 weeks is not going to kill us. At least that's what I keep telling myself.  And I know it's true, it's just that initial disappointment. Ya know?

And I am INCREDIBLY thankful for my adoption network of Sisters who have been where I am. EXACTLY where I am. You always feel alone with this, and sometimes you need someone to cry with who isn't your spouse.  Because honestly, if you've been down the road of infertility and/or adoption. You do a lot of that.  You cry because it's frustrating, it's hard, it's a whole new kind of hurt and though you and your spouse go through it together, sometimes you just need to know y'all are not the only ones. 

God gave us a network of brethren to rely on, to lean on, and we often forget to thank God for that... but honestly, we have Him to thank for everything.  In HIS time, not ours. 

And it isn't like there isn't stuff to do. I need to finish up our profile after I get a couple more letters back from people, Thanksgiving is in a couple weeks, and then we need to figure out what we are going to do for December.  Since we cannot technically be on a waiting list until our home study is LEGALLY approved, I guess it makes it a tad easier on our peace of mind so I don't have to keep my ringer on my phone all the time and worry about being in the bottom of a hollow or in New Mexico and get a call from Florida and have to leave that instant. 

I have been reading a book called "Baby We Were Made for Each Other: In Praise of Adoption"  by Scott Simon.  It's mostly about international and foster to adopt, but so many of the things he said about the process of getting to the point where you can bring a child home are SO true.  I will leave you with a paragraph from the book:

"No single hoop that we were asked to jump through was onerous or ludicrous. Criminals should not adopt children.  Neither should drug addicts, excessive drinkers, abusive spouses, louses, or tax cheats.  But the overall effect of all the questions and tests can be opressive, especially as months roll on without word of a child.  Most of the documentation that you have to complete expires after twelve months, for reasons I respect ( over the course of a year you can get sick, go broke, or get arrested). So when the wait that you were told might be six to nine months goes past twelve, you have to complete new forms (and pay new fees) all over again.  Grrr, grrrr, grrrrrr.  It's not the cost (though that pinches), or the time (though that grinds).  After a while, it's the sheer galling indignity of being asked to prove, pay, and prove all over again that you're a worthy parent.  Any true parent will tell you that that is impossible to prove in advance."

Remember where your Citizenship is :)