I knew going into this that the process was extensive and time consuming, but I only had a cursory knowledge of it because I had never actually been through it.
The process is and will continue to be a test of my patience. I pray that I keep looking at it the way I do now, which is basically that the end is worth the means to get there.
Yesterday I was sitting and reading peoples status updates and then last night I talked to our niece Mia on the phone. And I'm going to write this down so when I'm in the middle of it I will remember.
-The 3am feedings will be worth it because we have a child.
-The sleepless nights when he/she is sick will be worth it because we have a child
-The blowouts and emergency changes of clothes five minutes after we were supposed to leave for services will be worth it because we have a child
-The crying because things are not going their way will be worth it because that means we have a child
-The constant need for attention and supervision will be worth it because that means we have a child
-The broken toys, ripped pages, and other misbehavior that needs correcting will be worth it because that means we have a child
-The times that I have to exuse myself from a conversation because my child needs attention will be worth it because we have a child
-When the terrible 2s come around and it feels like all I do is correct every action will be worth it because we have a child
-The scrapes, the bumps and the bruises will all be worth it because the crys coming from the childs mouth will be "MOMMY!" or "DADDY!" and the child will actually mean us.
And I realize that we have not even shown our profile yet because our agency has to wait on references to get back and our home study is about a month away from being approved, and we haven't even printed out the stuff to apply to Sacred Selections. And things could go a very different direction than what I have planned because I am assuming the road we are on right now is what God wants for us. Everything is falling into place.
I wonder if we had tried doing this sooner if it would have happened. But I don't know... the blessing is that we are doing it now. WE are actually moving in that direction instead of stalling out over, "Well maybe we should." I guess what I'm trying to say is, that even if for some reason it doesn't happen, we at least tried. Yeah it will be so hard if it doesn't happen, but at least we are on the road to find out instead of waiting to be on that road.
Well off to FedEx I go to send more documents out and spend copious amounts of money on shipping and background checks.
We got finger printed on Friday and are sending those in with our federal background check. We will be in AFIS. I don't know why I'm excited about that, probably because I watch waaaaay too many crime dramas.
Roast for supper with a nice heaping side of adoption education tutorials!
Toodles!
Your post stuck in my head today, was trying to go to sleep and your words kept running through my head. So ALL of your worries/ thoughts about that little person to come is soooooo normal, well I think for most Mom's I am sure there are people who don't think that and maybe they are the ones who are not ready to have a baby and pass them on to those who are. Once in the trenches things just come naturally and things that once were scary become routine and you find new things to worry about, and be thankful for. Don't let other peoples posts scare you, you got to remember that 98% of our time and thoughts go into our kids so we write what is in our heads, good and bad. Way before they can say Mommy or Daddy there is that look in there eye that conveys undying love and you know I am a great Mom/Dad and all things are possible. Yours is just around the corner. Just try not to worry to much before it gets there.
ReplyDeleteIts not that I worry about those things, I think it's that I need to remember when those things happen, when I'm in the middle of it, how long we waited for him/her to come along and what a blessing EVERYTHING is and not just the happy stuff :)
ReplyDelete